He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
