Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
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