If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
