Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Someone signed my nipple.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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