Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
