It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
