just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
