Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
