your room smells of hookers.
And success
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
