just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
