i jhust puked up my retainher.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
