so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
