I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
