I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
