What did we do last night that was yellow?
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
