he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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