I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
