I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
