Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
