Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
