Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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