I think i sorta joined a cult last night
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize