I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
