So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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