i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
