honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
