walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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