I only kidnapped one of them. chill
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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