Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
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