also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
