can we get nightvision for the apartment?
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
