what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
