I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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