I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
