I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
