Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
