I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
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