The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I'm passing your future prison.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
