I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
