After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
so much tequila, so little girl.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
my nose is crying tears of wow.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
