Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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