Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize