Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robitsâ€
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