I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Randomize
