he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
