A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
