covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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