This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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