Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
