Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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