U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
She bit a glass in half.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
