so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
