I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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