im drinking this country out of the recession.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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