Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
