Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
you win again, gameday.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
