It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
This is my gift to your gina
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
