i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
