your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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